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Good Enough For Me August 7, 2010

Posted by Jen in facing fear, Sprituality, travel.
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Before I started typing this post, I was searching for some pictures from my own personal catalog to add. I was doing this because I want this blog to feel both helpful and professional, but friendly, too! I want to let you know what’s going on in my world, and what it’s like to live a life that is free from ED, and how I deal with it.

And often times my life has nothing to do with ED, because, well, it doesn’t consume my life anymore. My life involves hiking and cooking and spending time with family and friends; it involves reading and walking and some part-time work at a mediation center where I work with fantastic volunteers that are mostly in their 70’s and 80’s that are a huge inspiration to me; it involves stretching and strength training and meditating and sleeping and writing and journaling and petting my cats and spending time with my partner, Anthony.

When I went to search for pictures, though, I felt that familiar pull of trepidation. “My pictures are terribly low quality compared to some of the other bloggers.” “I don’t know what to put up here; does anyone even care?”

You know the how the soundtrack in your mind goes. Old familiar fears, often showing up disguising themselves as helpful or sincere, pop up when you least expect them. And that’s when your choice comes in. You can listen to your head or you can listen to your heart. You can give in to the voices and walk away from the challenges you intended to take on, or you can tell the voices what you think of them. Or maybe just gently inquire about why the voices appeared in the first place.

For me, my pictures and blog, in that moment, just didn’t feel good enough. I don’t have a professional header, I only started blogging a couple of months ago and don’t have much readership, I’m still figuring out what the core of the blog will be. And that scares me. But when I stare the fear in the face, my only real desire is to have a place to share. A place to write about stuff like this, a place to talk about goal setting, health, wellness, recipes, food, disordered eating, and other things that I am passionate about. And that is good enough for me.

So how about some pictures?

A dinner plate I made in a pottery class last year. (Clearly, I am not a professional, this was just for fun!)

Mmmm....a frost green monster. One of my favorite smoothies!

Me at Pancake Rocks in New Zealand, back in 2007

Hawaii. Nepali Coast Overlook in Kauai. I've been lucky enough to visit three of the islands and have made two different trips to Hawaii.

Tulips from the nearby Biltmore Estate

Well, those are some of my interests in a nut shell. Travel, beauty, food, creativity. I didn’t put any cat pictures up, but my cats are definitely an enormous part of my life. Nola is keeping me company as I type this.

What about you? What are you going to today when something feels scary?